Last time I said that speaking loud would show dominance. There is another way to do that with your voice: the intonation.
There are two intonation that I want to look at:
Imagine a bouncer in front of a club who checks the age of the party people. For a specific party he only grants entry to 25 year olds or older. If he thinks someone is older then he doesn’t even check. If someone looks young he asks: “how old are you?”
Your voice is a very important tool of your body language.
Recently I was “on tour” with a pro and learned two ways to express dominance and strong male presence with my voice. Here is one of them:
Talk loud and clear!
I always felt a bit embarrassed to talk loud. Especially when I approached a woman. I didn’t want other people to notice it. I didn’t want to stand out. But exactly that is a problem. A dominant alpha male is not impressed about what others think about him. He is congruent with what he is doing. He isn’t looking for validation from others. He decides for himself.
I wrote this text last summer and it fits to the current mission…
There is a known phenomenon. The first woman I approach in a day is difficult. There are thoughts in my head like: “Shall I talk to her or not? How is she going to react? What shall I say?” In other words I think and think and doubt and doubt. The second woman is easier and the third even easier. I think less and I become more relaxed. The more relaxed I am the better reactions from girls I get.
It would be nice if even the first was easy. An analogy: If I’m hungry I go take a sandwich and eat it. It wouldn’t cross my mind to think: “I’m afraid to eat a sandwich.” If I’m hungry I eat a sandwich. If I’m thirsty I drink something. In the same manner I’d like this approaching thing to be. If I see a girl I like I go talk to her.
So, with this background I did an experiment with a friend. We wanted to experience how it feels like to approach 100 women in a single day. Of course without alcohol.
So that a conversation with a new woman can go to the personal level, she must be in some way interested in you. She must feel attraction. More see here…
Now I want to look closer at the transition from impersonal small talk to personal conversation. Basically there are two strategies:
In this article I write about the first possibility.
I’m not going into a deep discussion here. Just a short story a girl told me recently…
She flirted with her eyes with a guy. Then later when she wanted to walk past him he said something to her. She just kept walking. He asked her to stop but she walked off anyway.
Later in the same bar she saw him again and flirted with him with the eyes. He was confused and didn’t talk to her anymore.
What happened here? Why didn’t she stop to talk to him? Why did she flirt with him again later? What’s the matter?
In the last two posts (“we feel when we meet the right partner” and “selfish men are sexy”) I said that a woman must feel two emotions to start a intimate relationship: she must feel sexually attracted and she must feel comfortable with the guy.
A woman feels sexually attracted to a man if he is powerful, dominant, confident and leading (this helps his genes). She feels comfortable with a man who is caring, nice and trustworthy (this helps her genes).
These two emotions are very different. Imagine what happens if a woman feels only one them.
