Here are a few ideas what you can say to start a conversation. There are three possibilities:
Women like dominant and strong men. The question is this: How can you communicate that to a woman? Probably she would not believe you if you told her directly: “I’m dominant and strong.” There must be another way to do that.
One way is this: Don’t explain yourself! Don’t justify yourself! Don’t qualify yourself!
A good friend of mine says to me: “Your shirt is ugly!”
I answer: “But the sales girl gave me very good advise and she told me that the shirt looks good with these jeans.”
I’m not going into a deep discussion here. Just a short story a girl told me recently…
She flirted with her eyes with a guy. Then later when she wanted to walk past him he said something to her. She just kept walking. He asked her to stop but she walked off anyway.
Later in the same bar she saw him again and flirted with him with the eyes. He was confused and didn’t talk to her anymore.
What happened here? Why didn’t she stop to talk to him? Why did she flirt with him again later? What’s the matter?
In the last two posts (“we feel when we meet the right partner” and “selfish men are sexy”) I said that a woman must feel two emotions to start a intimate relationship: she must feel sexually attracted and she must feel comfortable with the guy.
A woman feels sexually attracted to a man if he is powerful, dominant, confident and leading (this helps his genes). She feels comfortable with a man who is caring, nice and trustworthy (this helps her genes).
These two emotions are very different. Imagine what happens if a woman feels only one them.
Genes Are the Blueprint
It’s a long time ago when I learned about evolution and genes in school. I learned it and I found it exciting. But I never thought I could use this knowledge to understand women.
Our genes are the blueprint of a human being. The genes are responsible for the looks, the figure and the behavior. (Ok, some part of the behavior comes from education and social programming. I’m not talking about that for now.) A human being is basically the surviving machine for its genes. (Read “The selfish gene” by Richard Dawkins if you’re interested.)
In the last post I claimed that a woman isn’t able to really say how she can be seduced. Here’s a recent example that I experienced.
I met a girl in a club, we flirted and had fun together. We were standing close to each other while people were pushing past us. Once my girl was pushed towards me pretty closely. I didn’t move away at all and I pulled her in even more and gave her a hug. Then we continued talking normally. A while after that she said she would go “over there” to her girlfriends and invited me to come over as well.
I stayed where I was and talked to other people. A bit later SHE came to me, flirted a bit and left again with the invitation I should come see her and her girlfriends in the other part of the club.
In the beginning I thought that I just wanted to figure out how to get laid with a particular woman. I knew a few that I was interested in but whom were not interested in me. I thought that I needed some lines and more lines for all the women’s responses. And then again lines for all responses…
While following this strategy I noticed that it’s more important to understand how women work and think in general and what they want. Later I understood that it’s not really about women but it’s about me. I learned a lot about myself, who I was, what I wanted, what my thinking patterns were, who I wanted to be. That brought me to the question what a man is, what he’s doing and what he wants.
I often hear this from women. It means men only want sex and when they had it they leave the woman.
Is that true? Are men like that?
To find out lets assume that there are two types of men. Type ones are incredibly good with women. Type twos are total losers. Of course in reality men are not good or bad but they can also be everything in between. But lets put that aside and do an thought experiment to see how a world would look like if there would only be super great seducers and total losers.
Some of you might argue that if a man and a woman fit together then sex and a relationship will happen naturally. I’m with you on this one, but still the question remains why with some men this happens all the time, and with others it almost never happens.
So lets start the thought experiment…
