I wrote this text last summer and it fits to the current mission…

There is a known phenomenon. The first woman I approach in a day is difficult. There are thoughts in my head like: “Shall I talk to her or not? How is she going to react? What shall I say?” In other words I think and think and doubt and doubt. The second woman is easier and the third even easier. I think less and I become more relaxed. The more relaxed I am the better reactions from girls I get.

It would be nice if even the first was easy. An analogy: If I’m hungry I go take a sandwich and eat it. It wouldn’t cross my mind to think: “I’m afraid to eat a sandwich.” If I’m hungry I eat a sandwich. If I’m thirsty I drink something. In the same manner I’d like this approaching thing to be. If I see a girl I like I go talk to her.

So, with this background I did an experiment with a friend. We wanted to experience how it feels like to approach 100 women in a single day. Of course without alcohol.

At noon we went to the Streetparade which is a outdoor techno music event. We wanted to talk so we didn’t go directly to the event but close by. The city was full of people anyway.

Most women or groups that we approached were walking toward us, some were standing somewhere, and a few were sitting. The standing and sitting ones pretty much always listened to and talked to us. The walking ones were a bit more difficult cause we had to stop them first. If we were decisive and strong enough and were walking directly towards the group and signaled with our hands that we want to talk to them most stopped.

I asked the first 20 women or groups: “Where is the Streetparade?” Pretty often small talk developed about the Streetparade and the love mobiles, the parties, their dresses, the music, where they’re from, and so on. Of course we didn’t have a lot of time because of our time table (10 approaches per hour).

After having asked 20 times the same question it wasn’t particular thrilling anymore and I didn’t have to leave my comfort zone anymore. So I challenged myself to do the same and add a compliment to the woman.

Remark:

If you approach a woman and you want to continue the interaction (number, kiss, …) then you have to tell the woman at some point that you’re interested in her. If you show interest and she’s not interested then she will reject you. I think that the man should risk this rejection and initiate this escalation. The woman is expecting this.

Depending upon the moment when the man shows interest there are basically two possibilities:

Direct:
The man shows his interest immediately. His conversation starter could be: “Hi, I like you…”

Indirect:
a) He shows his interest, after the woman said or did something he liked. This means both of them are talking for a while and then the man shows interest.
b) He shows his interest only after the woman did show she is interested, ie. after she starts asking questions about him like: “what’s your name?”

I talked about this in the last few articles.

I hope now it is obvious that it’s a bit more difficult to give a compliment than not to give one.

During the 20 compliments I noticed that it became easier to me. And exactly that was the point of this mission: to enlarge the comfort zone, to find something normal that I didn’t find normal before, to do something without fear of rejection. It’s about a shift within! (not about getting phone numbers or something)

After a while we got bored of our opener and instead of asking “where is the streetparade we started to ask “where can we eat zurigeschnetzeltes?” (which is a nice zurich dish.)

From the approach 40 to 50 I was completely unmotivated. I approached a few girls but basically I was totally uninterested.

Right after a pretty bad reaction from a girl I pulled myself together and approached a group of 8 women at the roadside. I had eye contact with one of them. I kept it and walked directly towards her. In the corner of my eyes I saw 14 eyes drilling into me but I kept looking at my girl, said hi, and started talking. She was getting a bit shy. I touched her arm. Then the woman next to her started talking to me. I integrated her into the conversation. The shyness of my girl faded away. When I looked around I saw the other six girls checking me out. They even had a video camera filming me. Funny! I continued talking to the two women. I hugged my girl. The older encouraged the two of us to dance together which we did. I was a bit to aggressive then which made her uncomfortable. I said bye and left.

At 50 my friend and me decided not to go home to eat and chill but to go to a restaurant.

On the way to the restaurant I approached about another five girls right after the other. I asked for directions. I was tired and didn’t think anymore whether I should approach or not. I could let go of the inner resistance and it was effortless. It just flew. The thinking about the pick up, whether it’s the right woman to approach, how she is going to react, whether she looks good enough, all this eats away a lot of energy. Not to think is a lot better. Of course that’s easier said than done. At that moment I was in that state of mind. And the women notice it big time. They feel whether the guy is thinking or not. When he is not then they usually feel attraction instantly.

What is attraction? I see it like this: If I see a woman that I find attractive then I feel immediately attracted to her. I feel attraction. It’s a feeling. Women feel the same if they meet a man they like.

Of course it’s one thing to know that women feel attraction for guys that don’t think and just act. To actually be in that state of mind is another. This non-thinking state is awareness. Awareness without thoughts about the past or the future. Just pure presence in the now moment. No expectation how the woman is going to react. No outcome dependence.

After having opened five girls one after the other I asked the same question to a very pretty girl. I could feel that she was instantly attracted. I told her I like her and we flirted for a while. I was completely in the now.

So we deserved the break and some food! Oh man I was exhausted! We were walking around for about 8 hours and we approached about 60 girls each. It was so nice to sit down and then to just sit. Mmmh we ate pasta. It was wonderful to get new energy. We rested for another while drinking our ice teas until we continued our mission. 40 to go.

With the new energy I approached a few women by stopping them and then just saying the first thing that came to mind. I got very good reactions and conversations started flowing effortless. I was in the state that I wanted to experience. I wasn’t in a super good mood; I was more tired and indifferent. Indifferent whether girls like me, indifferent how they react.

With the next two girls we stayed for a long time and flirted. Of course it was easier to stay with the group than to approach more. But we wanted to continue the mission, so we planned to meet them at midnight and left.

Now we had about 45 minutes until midnight and we pushed the accelerator. We just asked for directions and didn’t even care to continue the conversation anymore but immediately approached the next group. In the end we were both at about 87. And powered out!

Then we met the two girls from before…

It was really an insightful experience to walk around for 12 hours straight and approach girls nonstop. I can recommend it to anyone and watch one’s state of mind to see how it corresponds to the reaction of the girls.

I entered the “ZONE” when I did a few approaches right after the other. Then my mind calmed down and I was truly in the moment. In this state of mind I got the best reactions and it was effortless.

Similar Posts:

• Review of The Inner Dialog
• How to Get the Woman to Escalate the Conversation to the Personal Level
• I Like You – The Date
• The Desire to Understand Women
• What’s the Size of Your Penis?

Tags: Experience //